Bestfriend,
I’m no longer mad at you. Don’t bother Hope anymore. I already understand why there is no communication between us for so long.
Several days ago, while I was crying in bed thinking things over, the answer to my questions became clear to me. It was because that’s what I really wanted to do in the first place. Even though I don’t want it anymore, I could not turn back time. I can’t take back what I said and I already made that vow.
I have been so stupid to forget. Now, I finally understand and I’m happy for him. He’s right, he has a beautiful name and I might as well name my first son after him someday. Just as he suggested. “So that when I am gone, you will have a remembrance of me”, he said. Maybe I can move on from here. Thanks for everything. I am so happy to know both of you and to have you as friends. God Bless you and may you be truly happy for the rest of your lives.
Take Care,
Dana
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I seldom like this kind of music but eversince I heard my officemate singing to the tune of this song I find it quite interesting. I had a hard time looking for its lyrics since I don’t know the artist and the title. I tried several keywords and it worked! I found it and I’m posting it here.
“Don’t Matter”
Konvict Konvict
Oh
Ohoohwooe
Oooh
Ooohhwooe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon’ fight
Oh yes we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Believe we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together
Nobody thought we’d last forever
I feel I’m hopin’ and prayin’
Things between us gon’ get better
Men steady comin’ after you
Women steady comin’ after me
Seem like everybody wanna go for self
And don’t wanna respect boundaries
Tellin’ you all those lies
Just to get on your side
But I must admit there was a couple secrets
I held inside
But just know that I tried
To always apologize
And I’ma have you first always in my heart
To keep you satisfied
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon’ fight
Oh yes we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Believe we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you
Got every right to wanna leave
Got every right to wanna go
Got every right to hit the road
And never talk to me no more
You don’t even have to call
Even check for me at all
Because the way I been actin’ lately
Has been off the wall
Especially towards you
Puttin’ girls before you
And they watchin’ everything I been doin’
Just to hurt you
Most of it just ain’t true(Ain’t true)
And they won’t show you
How much of a queen you are to me
And why I love you baby
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon’ fight
Oh yes we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Believe we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you
Oh oh oh oh oh
Cause I got you
Cause I got you
Ooooh
Cause I got you babe
Cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon’ fight
Oh yes we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Believe we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon’ fight
Oh yes we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Believe we gon’ fight(We gon’ fight)
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don’t matter no
Cause I got you babe
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Why do I feel this way? I’m not supposed to give in to these feelings because they kind of ruin my day. But, I CAN’T HELP IT.
I know I’m not supposed to write it here but I just want to let this out. This is my online journal, anyway.
I have a problem with some people I know who has problems but doesn’t know how to let the person concerning them know they have a problem with them. Get it? I mean why in the world are they like this? Don’t they know how to be frank and tell that someone, “Hey, I got a problem with you. Can you just get out of my face and be lost for good?” You see, it’s not good to assume what they think and to ponder on what you think were their reasons for doing that when you really have no idea about it. It results to a great deal of headache. Ok, I know I’m not making sense again. That’s it. I just want to say that. Now I feel a lot better.
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Hooray!!! Thanks God it’s Friday.
No work tomorrow… So what am I planning to do this weekend? Hehehe, my sister brought some DVDs with her from Manila so I will be home this weekend spending most of my time in front of the TV. I’ll be watching animes. Yes, you got it right, at this age, I’m still watching them animes. I love cartoons. So, wait for me Cardcaptor Sakura, I’ll be home soon Fushigi Yuugi. Hehehe… 
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At last, the elections are over. We will just wait for the results and hoping that those who deserve to be in their rightful positions will win. As of now, I am quite happy that 8 of my 10 senatoriables made it to the top 12. But it’s still unofficial, more ballots need to be counted.
Among those who run, I am particularly interested in Manny Pacquiao’s candidacy for congressman in General Santos. I know he’s a great guy, famous and willing to help but I just think he doesn’t deserve to be in the Congress. It would be better if he just focus on his career as a World Champion boxer. I am following the results of his candidacy and I am quite pleased that his opponent Congresswoman Darlene Custodio is beating him for the position. I am also happy that the people of General Santos used their reasons in electing whose more competitive and politically matured.
I just hope, Manny Pacquiao won’t be discouraged by the election results. And that, he will realize that he’ll do better in the boxing ring than in the congress.
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Whenever I feel down or weary, I just listen to contemporary Christian songs. I love music. And among my favorite singers is Matthew West. I really, really like the lyrics and rhythm of the song below. It reassures me and tells me not to worry because when I feel like I’m all alone, I still got Jesus. 
If You Ever Need Me (You Know Where To Find Me)
I saw your sky fall down today
Suddenly turn from blue to grey
Till one by one the raindrops
Turned to tears upon your face
Wish there was something I could do
Wish I could ease this pain from you
But I’ve never felt so helpless
It’s like you’re drowning right in front of me
And I’m reaching out and you can’t see
There’s something holding on to you so tight
So I guess this is all I’ll say to you tonight
Chorus
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting where I’ve always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you, I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side
Right by your side
If the whole world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here but you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the why’s
’cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to remember
Repeat Chorus
Bridge:
If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here and you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the why’s
‘Cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to, I need you to remember
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(Note: This is one of the good side of me. If it doesn’t apply to you or not of your interest, just don’t mind me. )
How would you feel if you knew that you have that effect on someone or let’s say, you helped change her/him into a better person? Maybe you’ll be overwhelmed or proud. As for me, I’m just happy.
For the past 5 years, I’ve been thinking about my purpose and how I can be God’s instrument. And now I see that truly things work together for good. There were times that I feel like I’m a failure as a Christian but God didn’t let me feel that way. This year, we were destined to live with a group of teenagers who lost their way to the world. They were really enjoying themselves in worldly matters and taking their lives for granted. At first, we tried to let them go their way and continue to live the good life. And then, something happened. We became friends. Scary isn’t it? We might have been influenced by their ways, but no, we weren’t.
Lately, they realized that they have to change for their future and slowly I was seeing that change in them. They’re now serious with their studies, they take advices from us, they listen if I warn them to not do that because it might cause some problems in their life. And what struck me is when one of them told me these words:
“You know what, we see that you’re really good children and you’re successful. Not like us, we waste time and money and we’re a failure to our parents. We wanted to change that, we wanted to be like you. You and your sisters are our eye openers.”
Whew! I hadn’t expected that. I pondered upon her words and I realized that God put us in the right place. Somehow, we have guided some lost souls. And I’m so happy that I found my purpose. I’m not really worthless after all. I’m special.
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Something I received in a text message that keeps me wondering.
HERE’S A SWEET TRUTH:
“someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.”
HERE’S THE BITTER CATCH:
“when you kept on waiting but nobody came, it means that you’ve already let that one pass you by.”
So, where am I? Uhmmm… Maybe I’m the one who’s lost. 
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Yes, I do. Who wouldn’t? I have a very nice and galante (?) client, I’m in front of the computer for 10 hours or more 5 days a week, I get to browse the net all the time, I can visit my favorite sites if I want to, I enjoy doing QA, and what else? Of course because of the bonus. Hahahaha! Just kidding.
Seriously, we will love or jobs as long as we enjoy doing it. I mean, even if it doesn’t suit you or is not related with the course you graduated from but if you like doing it, you really won’t think about quitting. My previous job was telemarketing and I so loved it even if the company I’m in really sucks. I love talking to people. I love doing the things that I do. And that’s what really matters.
Furthermore, working in IT related companies really makes wonders. Who knows if I get to become a programmer someday? That really rocks!! (Expression borrowed from my boss, excuse me for lack of originality.)
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What about the title? Well, it means many things but of course the main thought would be the Creator. Below you can find the lyrics of one of my favorite Christian songs where I got the title of this blog.
Only Hope by Caedmon’s Call
Depth of mercy can there be
Mercy still reserved for me
Can my God, your wrath forbear
Me the cheif of sinners, spare
Chorus
It’s my only hope
You’re my only hope
It’s my only hope of Heaven
At the cross forgiven
I have long withstood your grace
Long provoked you to your face
Would not harken to your calls
Grieved you by a thousand falls
There for me the Savior stands
Shows his wounds and spreads His hands
Face to face before the Son
And like Isaiah I’m undone
Depth of mercy, vast and free
So much deeper than the sea
God of love, you heard my cry
Now into your open arms I fly
But of course, my only hope may also be a special person. Who knows?
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