Now I’m starting to be emo. I can’t help it, I can’t think of any good topics lately. I wanted to write but I don’t know what to write about. I don’t even have any ideas how to make this blog interesting. Anyway, I thought writing something about love (once again) can make up for the wasted time I spent today.
It just amazes me how some people can go blind when they are in love. They can’t see that the one they love may not be the one for them. I mean, put yourself in a situation that you are in love with a married man. Whatever the circumstances and whichever side you look at it, you lose. Whether you love him and he loves somebody else or he loves you and you love him in return, you will lose. You won’t be together because he is already committed. On the other hand, there is this someone who is so in love with you. Willing to go through fire just to have you. He can be the right guy, the man of your dreams and yet, you don’t love him.
If you were going to choose, whom will you prefer? The one you love or the one who loves you? Ofcourse, the one who can make you happy, right? This is the hard part. Some people blinded by love will still choose the one that they can’t have (like my example above) because they think that it is the source of their happiness; who can also be the source of their misery. They will not choose the one who is available simply because they don’t love them.
Can you teach your heart to love someone else? Because if lovers can, maybe they will have no trouble choosing the one they would love, the one who can make them whole again. Or maybe, they’re just too blinded that they can’t see who they really want for life. Or maybe, they just have to be patient and wait for their heart to beat for someone who really loves them.
Or maybe, I can think about a good topic next time and post a good read…
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While I was checking my mails this morning, I came accross this email from a friend and was so touch by it that I decided to post it here. Read on.
The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.
They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.
On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.
The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.
By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.
She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.
Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet..
“Pastor,” she asked, “where did you get that tablecloth?” The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.
The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.
The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.
What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn’t leaving.
The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike.
He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.
The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.
He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman’s apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.
True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid
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Ξ June 20th, 2007 | → 5 Comments | ∇ Love |
I don’t know how to start this post. All I know is I am hurt and I’m not going to hide it. I convinced myself that I can take the pain and I can move on as fast as I want to. But I’m wrong. As Celine Dion’s song goes “It’s all coming back to me now”. All those happy and carefree conversations, all those good memories, they keep on haunting me. I can’t understand myself. After all my hope had been shattered, I should have left all of those behind. I fell and nobody caught me. I should be able to get up and move forward.
I also don’t know if there were things left undone. Would it be different if I let him know what I really feel? Or is it better if I just keep that to myself to avoid being humiliated? Now it’s between the truth and my pride. Both, are important to me, so I really have no idea what to choose.
//Maybe i’m just hungry, I need something to eat.
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The article below was written by my friend Enrique who, just recently, broke up with his bestfriend for the nth time around.
This realization hit me just recently. Or is it the second time around? We’ll’, it’s just that I made a complete fool out of myself again.
I don’t know what came over me that time but certainly it was not good. Not good at all.
It goes this way…….it was one of the tenderest times of my life. So pure. So poignant. That I had a quarrel with my best friend. If anyone can call it that.
Everyone knows how it feels like to be around your closest friend…after weeks of work and tight schedule….it feels good to be with the company of people who calm you, whose presence relaxes your inner turmoil.
I suddenly grew quiet and unattached in the middle of his bantering. I felt my body shivered. And then I started to turn cold inside. But I couldn’t begin to weaken. Could I? I badly needed to display an expression void of any emotions, emotions that would betray me.
Yet, my hands were shaking. I was losing it, and I didn’t lose it often. I am a strong person, and always have been.
If it’s any consolation, I have resigned myself already to this weakening long ago. That not everyone could have such a disturbing effect on me. Who could make me feel at peace with myself. With whom I wanted to be with most of the time. Corny, but true.
I really felt like a fool.-have hated myself for it. How could I have been so stupid enough to give in to such petty jokes? It isn’t like me to be this out of touch with my instincts. They are always good; I am smart; though I do some silly things at times. And, hell! Had I made a doozy of a mistake for the nth time around!
It’s a shame to have walked out of someone who has made me feel as if I was holding a little bit of heaven in my arms. Now, I’m harboring a taste of hell inside. So much for driving my courage up and higher. Trouble is, pride has let me down, now when I needed it the most to boost up my self-esteem.
So much for not pushing as hard as I could have. Regretfully, it isn’t my style to push. Just as I don’t like being forced or pressured.
Can anyone have any idea how awful this could feel? Oh my! “You can only get hurt by the one you love” really knocked its meaning right in front of my face. I have actually left myself completely open to hurt. I don’t do it often. And definitely not with anyone else.
This appalling emotion dropped me to a total lost again. But, I need to get back my life. Reclaimed myself. To get hurt by my own doing is a complete mess. I started to ask my logical reasoning for how long it would collapse my strength. However, seems like my mind abandoned me this time and asked me to consult what my heart really wanted.
And I hope that even this one comes back my way, especially peace and happiness. I only have little of these two. When it’s true, when it’s right, these can give me the kind of joy that I can’t get from any other experience. Now, this piece of stability is wavering. It’s beginning to shatter.
True, as they say, that real friends are hard to find. And I’m lucky to have one. Lucky, yes. To have found some happiness that I’m missing in this dull of life.
The greatest battle now is to humble my pride and push myself to one of the hardest thing to do. To ask for a reconciliation. This will, definitely, eat up all my courage and strength for sure. My greatest fear of all? Rejection.
I also have a bestfriend but I don’t feel the same attachment to him as this friend of mine does. I know the ending is quite vague but he wants it to hang a little so I didn’t force him to write further. Let’s see how many people can relate to this. Comments anyone? 
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My horoscope for today says:
Everything is simple when you don’t let the facts get in the way of having fun. The problem is that although the truth usually shines through, it may not today because fantasy continues to rule your world. One thing is true: if you can imagine it, you might be able to make it happen. It’s easier, though, if you cooperate with reality instead of avoiding it.
Oh yeah, it suits me, very much. But should I follow what it says? If I can make my fantasies happen, what will happen to the truth? *sigh* I’m more confused than ever. I wish there’s someone I could talk to. 
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This entry is not about finding the right man. Sorry to disappoint those who thought this is about love. 
I was surfing friendster yesterday when accidentally, I stumbled upon the profile of a long lost friend. It’s good to see him again, it’s been so long since we stopped communicating to each other.
He’s one of my closest friends and I usually tell him things that I don’t tell my girl friends. I don’t know but I just feel comfortable whenever I’m talking to him. He can follow where my thought leads and he gives good advices. I’m just grateful I found him again. So what I did, i sent him a message and left him my number. And last night we were already texting each other! it’s good to be reunited with a friend!!
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Just lately, my friend let me borrow his Jeremy Camp CD. The disc is packed with a balance of stadium filling anthems, rock and roll revelry and praiseworthy yet edgy power ballads, while the message is sure to strike a chord with followers at all levels of their faith walk. The title of the album is Restored and I’m sure was restored after I listen to the songs.
Below are the songs included in this album. My favorites are Take You Back and This Man. 
1. Restored
2. Take You Back
3. Even When
4. Lay Down My Pride
5. My Desire
6. Be The One
7. Every Time
8. Letting Go
9. Breathe
10. This Man
11. Nothing Else I Need
12. Innocence
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